Archaeologists have Discovered that the Jews Left Egypt after Pharaoh Tried to Mobilize Them, Russians Say

Paul Goble

            Staunton, Oct. 6 – In an ironic comment on Putin’s partial mobilization campaign, Russians joke bitterly that archaeologists have discovered that the real reason the Jews left Egypt three millennia ago was that the pharaoh sought to mobilize them and they recognized that the only defense was to follow Moses and flee the country.

            That is just one of the new jokes and anecdotes Moscow journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova has assembled (publizist.ru/blogs/107374/44159/-). Among the best of the rest are the following:

·       Hell is now empty because all the devils are very much present on earth.

·       Russians say that Moscow can easily repair the Kerch Bridge by using part of Putin’s notoriously long-tables to cover the gap left by the explosion.

·       To save money, Russian cities are scrapping plans for New Year’s celebrations. That should allow, after officials steal tehir usual portion, for the creation of a couple of air regiments which of course will then be staffed by retired pilots.

·       The Russian defense ministry says that in order to achieve the goals of Putin’s special military operation, it was decided to “regroup the Kerch bridge” by putting in on the bottom of the sea so as to “increase Russian efforts in the underwater direction.”

·       A Ukrainian fascist is anyone Russia attacks. If it attacks schools, that is only because schools are training future Ukrainian fascists.

·       Those fleeing Russia now are leaving behind their parents and grandparents. If they ever hope to return, they will find that it is too later because by then those generations will be filling the cemeteries.

·       “Partial” is the latest word to go viral in Russia. Following Putin’s declaration of partial mobilization, Russian media are reporting the partial destruction of a Kaluga airfield and a partial blowing up of the Kerch Bridge.

·       Kremlin spokesmen insist that Russia doesn’t have an authoritarian regime but only its own unique political system. They seem to have forgotten that earlier, Caligula and Nero said exactly the same thing about their rule in the first Rome.