Tuesday, October 1, 2024

Why Do Russians Hope for End of the World? Because They are Waiting for Something Better – and Other Jokes Russians are Telling about Nuclear War

Paul Goble

            Staunton, Sept. 25 – Putin’s talk about a nuclear Armageddon is clearly intended to frighten people both in Russia and abroad, and it is likely having that effect. But it has also given birth to a new wave of anecdotes and jokes as a means of coping with the horror such a prospect has.

            As Novyye izvestiya journalist Mariya Sokolova points out, jokes about nuclear weapons and the end of the world were common enough in Soviet times but they had declined in number in recent decades (newizv.ru/news/2024-09-26/samoironiya-i-fatalizm-v-rossii-prodolzhayut-shutit-pro-yadernyy-apokalipsis-433438).

            Most of the jokes now circulating about nuclear war are revivals of earlier Soviet ones, but some of them contain certain twists that reflect the differences in Russian life now from Soviet life decades ago, she suggests. And she offers seven examples of the latter:

·       The easiest death in the world is being at the epicenter of a thermonuclear explosion. The radiation burns you faster than pain signals reach the central nervous system. That is why real estate in the center is so expensive.

·       A missile with a Syzran nuclear warhead will turn any US city into Syzran.

·       “The government told the Russians that their country now has a hypersonic missile capable of hitting America. But it didn’t say that Russians’ salaries and pensions are capable of astounding America.

·       Why are people in Russia so eager for the end of the world? Russians are simply waiting for at least some changes for the better.

·       After watching TV, it has become clear: there is no need to be afraid of nuclear war. Just a series of nuclear pops!

·       The funds allocated in Russia for the end of the world were stolen. The event is on the verge of collapse.

·       If you see a nuclear explosion, rotate 360 ​​degrees to ensure an even crust.

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