Mark Bernes’ Classic 1961 Song ‘Do Russians Want War?’ is being Re-Released under the Title ‘Do Russians Want a Special Military Operation?’

Paul Goble

            Staunton, Dec. 16 – In 1961, Mark Bernes released the now classic anti-war song, “Do Russians Want War?’ The answer according to the lyrics was a resounding “no.” Now, there are plans to re-release the song but with a new title “Do Russians Want a Special Military Operation?’ to which the answer is the same, some Russians are saying.

            That is only one of the anecdotes in the latest collection offered on line by Moscow journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova (publizist.ru/blogs/107374/47350/-). Among the best of the rest are the following:

·       Putin has promised to produce 1000 planes by 2030, that is one every two to three days. That’s quite possible for a country that will soon be producing its own bicycles.

·       Moscow had the worst snow storm in recent history, but it was all for naught: neither the French nor the Germans were at the gate.

·       Decent Russians should have the right to marry their snow shovels. They’ve spent so much time with them that marriage is the only reasonable next step.

·       Bosses who aren’t able to force chickens to lay eggs want Russians to give birth to eight children for the country.

·       Some Russians are saying that everything will be good when everyone gets tired of the bad, perhaps the most widespread and certainly the brightest of all current Russian beliefs.

·       Everything will be fine when you get tired of the bad, so everyone who does evil today brings good closer. The brightest of all current Russian beliefs.

·       Moscow jewelry stores are now offering diamonds for the price of eggs, confident that no one will complain because Putin, the only person in Russia one can complain to, won’t have another “direct line” program for a year.

·       The All-Russian Scientific Research Geological Institute, whose acronym is VSEGEY or “all Gay,” has been forced by vigilant Russians to drop that title lest it violate the laws on promoting non-traditional sexual relations.

·       Moscow has announced that the country will consume 12 percent less alcohol in 2030 than now, spreading panic among many Russians. But no one should be alarmed: by 2030, the population and the number of drinkers will have fallen by 15 percent.

·       Orwell’s 1984 is the most widely read book in Russia, but there is one person who appears not to have read it – and it is obvious that he should.