Sunday, May 29, 2022

Putin Knows Exactly Where He is Taking Russia but the Destination is Classified, Russians Joke

 Paul Goble

            Staunton, May 14 – According to the latest anecdote circulating in Russia, Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov says that Vladimir Putin knows precisely where is he taking Russia, all Russians support him in this, but for purposes of security, no one has been told what that destination is. Such information is classified.

            That is one of the jokes Moscow journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova offers in her latest collection ( Among the others are the following:

·       No one can dispute that Putin is an effective communicator. He called the president of Finland to warn of the dangers of being a NATO member and the very next day, the Finnish president announced his country wants to join it.

 ·       Russian patriots want to know where all the American POWs will be put after the Kremlin unleashes a nuclear war – and will a bag of old potatoes be enough to plant a new crop then.

 ·       From a medical point of view, Russia’s domestic policy is like urine therapy in the eyes; its foreign policy is like the same thing into the wind.

  •     Some Russian criticized the tsar for his bad temper. The tsar had him tortured, and the man     admitted he had been wrong. Given that, what’s the point of saying anything?

 ·       Russian scholars have established that a dog sniffing another dog gets more information than do Russians who want the news on Moscow television.

 ·       Of course, Russians say, we all believe Putin when he says that the special operation is going entirely according to plan. But what bastard inserted into this plan the points about the entry of Finland and Sweden into NATO?


·       A Yekaterinburg man was fined 45,000 rubles (600 US dollars) for defaming the Russian military after he carried a sign carrying a quotation from Putin in 2018. At that time, the Russian leader said that it was easy to use a war to cover up failures in economic and social policy. The question arises: how much should Putin be fined for saying that?


·       Putin’s general plan for the special military operation in Ukraine has been released. It calls for occupying one city, then retreating, then retaking the same city, then retreating and so on forever.


·       The Russian National Space Company which had announced plans to launch a lunar probe in 2023 and a mission to mars in 2025 has been disbanded after its head stole 340 million rubles (four million US dollars). His action, of course, confirms Russia as a space power. After all, such thievery really is of cosmic proportions.  

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