Paul Goble
Staunton, Feb. 2 – The Russian defense ministry has announced that it will give all Russians who fight in Ukraine plots of land, but it hasn’t said just how large those will be or even if they will be larger than the standard burial plots in graveyards, as some Russians strongly suspect.
That is one of the anecdotes reflecting how Russians feel about the situation in which they find themselves that Moscow journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova has assembled and published (publizist.ru/blogs/107374/45066/-). Among the best of the rest are the following:
· Two Duma deputies have proposed blocking all foreign websites so Russians won’t have to read Russophobic messages. But if they are going to succeed, they will also have to block all walls and elevators in Russia so that no one will read words about or caricatures of Putin.
· Any Russian who weighs more than 80 kilograms (176 pounds) from now on will be considered middle class.
· Military officials have told Putin that all 9,000 Russians who were illegally drafted have been returned home. They didn’t say how many of them came home in a box.
· A Russian is asked if he likes cats; he replies that he eats everything.
· If there are indeed several Putins, then which one is Peskov?
· Residents of cities where a statue of Stalin has gone up should celebrate that they don’t yet have one of Yagoda or Yezhov.
· The only original technology flourishing in Russia are bot farms.
· According to VTsIOM, 146 percent of Russians favor renaming the cities where they live Putinburg.
· Having announced that Moscow must explain to the residents of the new regions of the Russian Federation how social elevators work, the authorities have no choice but to write biographies of the children of Russian officials as there is no other social elevator in Russia.
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