Saturday, April 29, 2023

Putin is Bombing Ukraine to Make It Look Just Like Russia Beyond the Ring Road, Muscovites Say

Paul Goble

            Staunton, Apr. 25 – Russians have come up with their own explanation as to why Vladimir Putin continues his brutal bombing campaign against Ukrainian housing blocks. According to them, he wants to make Ukraine look just like Russia beyond the ring road around Moscow does and thus support his claim that the two nations are really only one.

            That is one of the anecdotes Moscow journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova offers in her latest collection ( Among the best of the rest are the following:

·       Russians say that degradation may have a definite beginning, but it has no end in sight.

·       Having learned on Moscow television that the earth is flat, Russians say that people are lucky in that the earth lies horizontally and not vertically. Otherwise, everyone would fall off.

·       A Putin official asked a magic goldfish to grant him his wish of restoring the Russian Empire. The magic fish asked if he had thought that request through but then granted it after the official said that he already had everything else he wanted. The Putin man was returned to 1831 where he was a serf being beaten by his masters.

·       Kremlin propaganda makes no sense, but it doesn’t have to. After all, those who want to believe will; and those still capable of thinking won’t.

·       Wagner commander Prigozhin says that Putin’s plan includes daily lists of street corners and traffic lights in Bakhmut that his men have to take.

·       Foreign Minister Lavrov says the world has approached a line even more dangerous than the ones it reached in the Cold War. Russians respond by suggesting that since he approached that line, he should now crawl away.


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