‘We’re Patriots and Believe Putin No Matter How Much He Lies,’ Russians Say

Paul Goble

            Staunton, June 21 – According to the latest anecdote coming out of Russia, many citizens of that country insist that “we’re patriots and believe Putin no matter how much he lies,” an unfunny joke that says a great deal about how Russians manage to function in a system where lies are more common than the truth.

            This is the most instructive anecdote in the latest collection of jokes assembled by Moscow journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova (publizist.ru/blogs/107374/43233/-). Among the best of the rest are the following:

·       Before Putin invaded Ukraine and the Russian army started suffering defeats, everyone was afraid of doing anything that might provoke Russia. Now, however, other countries aren’t afraid anymore. It would have been better if we had just sat at home and held parades.

·       The Ukrainians continue to attack because they don’t realize they’ve already lost, and because they keep coming in the wrong direction, the Russian army has had to retreat.

 ·       Every day in every way, things are getting better and better in Russia. Somehow we have to endure this.

 ·       Russians are standing at the edge of the abyss and can see that all their enemies are behind them and running in the opposite direction.

 ·       Moscow propagandists say that Russia has to start starving the rest of the world so that it will want to be friend with Russia. That makes it clear why Russia has no friends at all.

 ·       The Duma needs to get to work. It has required all sports facilities to display the Russian flag and play the Russian national anthem. But they forgot to impose the same requirement on bookmakers.

 ·       Ukraine is a warmonger state. If it didn’t exist, Russia would not have had to go to war against it.

 ·       In just three months, the Kremlin has managed to expand NATO, destroy the Russian economy, exhaust its gold reserves and make Russia a world outcast. Now if it can only use this remarkable ability in the opposite direction.

 ·       Those Russians who haven’t been imprisoned because of their politics now may soon have to make excuses and explain themselves tomorrow.