Sunday, August 28, 2022

One Russian in Three Say Sun Orbits the Earth but the Other Two are Certain it Orbits Russia, Muscovites Joke

Paul Goble

            Staunton, Aug. 1 – A new poll reports that 35 percent of Russians say they believe that the sun orbits the earth. Muscovites respond that they are certain that the other 65 percent are equally confident that in reality the sun orbits Russia, another triumph of Kremlin propaganda which seeks to elevate the status of the country.

            This is just one of the latest collection of Russian jokes and anecdotes assembled by Moscow journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova ( Among the best of the rest are the following:

·       Truth can triumph in Russia but only after a long struggle. It took a month for the father of a sailor killed when the Ukrainians sank the Moskva to get the word that his son wasn’t simply “missing in action” but actually dead.

·       After China followed the West and stopped selling smartphones in Russia, real patriots said there is no reason for concern. After all, such phones from Iran and North Korea are also good.

·       The price of school uniforms has risen so much in Russia over the last twelve months that Russian parents are now committed to shifting to online schooling for their children. That’s great, some say, because it means Russia will take the lead in that too.

·       Justice in Russia is now a circus but with one critical difference. In a real circus, people laugh at the clowns; in Russian courtrooms, the clowns laugh at the people.

·       Moscow is now celebrating Myanmar and its vicious military regime as a friend and partner of Russia. The Kremlin has little choice: Russia no longer has any other partners out there.

·       Putin raised the retirement age four years ago because he said the state had to save money. All that it has saved by not paying Russian pensioners the state has used in the last few months in the special military operation in Ukraine.

·       The Russian people are paying for increased exports to China. The government says it must have more electricity to run the trains and that Russians, not the Chinese, have to pay for that.


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