Wednesday, August 17, 2022

‘What is the Purpose of Your Return?” Border Guards Said to Ask Russians Coming Back from Abroad

Paul Goble

            Staunton, July 22 – According to the latest Russian anecdote offered by Moscow journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova, Russian border guards are now asking stylishly dressed and beautifully tanned Russians returning from vacations in one of the few countries Russians are still allowed to visit “what is the purpose of your return?”

            Among the best of the rest offered in her latest sampling ( are the following:

·       Russians are now using the letters V and Z the way GULAG prisoners used pictures of Stalin and Stalin, as a way of keeping the authorities from shooting at them or stealing their property given that the even those in power are afraid of committing the crime of lese majeste by attacking those symbolically loaded letters.

·       Russian television assures everyone that things are wonderful in Russia and horrible in the West, but despite that, Russia’s oligarchs still try to move abroad. One has to ask what is wrong with them? Or with the television?

·       As part of his support for Putin’s program of import substitution, Patriarch Kirill has agreed to become the chief rabbi of Russia.

·       Putin says that artificial intelligence can never become the president of Russia. His spokesman explains that this is simply a subset of the principle that no intelligence can occupy that position.

·       Why is it that when the authorities mock Russians, that is a wise policy, but when the people mock the authorities, that is extremism?

·       The only land the Russian government is ever going to give Russians is a funeral plot two meters by one.

·       Putin has declared that air travel must be made affordable but there are problems: there are now no planes and no places they can land.

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