Monday, December 26, 2022

80 Percent of Russia’s Roads Lead Nowhere, Some who Live There Say

Paul Goble

            Staunton, Dec. 26 – It has long been observed that Russia suffers from two problems: its fools and its roads. But increasingly under Putin, Russians understand that each symbolizes the other and are now being heard to declare that in Russia today, “80 percent of the roads do not lead to anywhere.”

            This is just one of the new anecdotes Moscow journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova has assembled this week ( Among the best of the rest are the following

·       Now that a fire has broken out again on Russia’s only aircraft carrier, the “Admiral Kuznetsov,” some speculate that sailors aboard must be members of some fire cult connected with Zoroastrianism and demanding that the whole vessel be doused with holy water to save Russia.

·       After 20 pensioners died in a fire in Kemerovo, Moscow propagandists knew just wat to do: they released a video showing Europeans have nothing to heat their homes. That is emblematic of Russia today.

·       When defense minister Sergey Shoygu went to a military factory in Izhevsk, workers there hurriedly covered up the signs on equipment showing it was from Japan with paper declaring that it was a Kalashnikov. Their only failure was that they attached these signs with blue and yellow tape, Ukraine’s colors.

·       A bunker is not just a place but a state of mind. And in that respect, Putin has achieved his goal of isolating himself from the world.

·       Many Russians wonder whether anyone carrying a sign bearing Putin’s latest words about “ending the war” will be praised or more likely arrested.

·       Putin’s press secretary dismisses the idea that Putin doesn’t visit the front lines. According to Dmitry Peskov, Putin looks at Yandex Maps every day.

·       A former United Russia deputy has shown what active repentance looks like by setting fire to a military commissariat.

·       Now that a real air raid siren has sounded in Voronezh, the old joke about Moscow “bombing Voronezh” has become a lot less funny.

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