Friday, December 23, 2022

  Will the Santa Claus who Arrived in an APC be Leaving in a Hearse? Russians Want to Know

Paul Goble

            Staunton, Dec. 22 – When the Moscow media reported that Santa Claus had arrived at a Christmas celebration in Belgorod in an armored personnel carrier, inquiring Russian minds, according to the latest anecdote circulating in Moscow, are now asking whether “he is going to leave in a hearse?”

            That is the best of the anecdotes offered by Moscow journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova in her latest weekly collection (publizist.ru/blogs/107374/44733/-). Among others worthy of note are the following:

·       Russian scientists have invented a unique boomerang that never returns. They say all the tests they’ve conducted on it have been successful.

·       A Moscow court has declared that in fact it was the Russian national team that has won the world soccer championship.

·       The sledgehammer is the replacement for the hammer and sickle because it can be used to break the heads of anyone who opposes it. It will likely end up on the new Russian coat of arms.

·       Federal Council head Valentina Matvienko says the issue of mobilization isn’t on the agenda. The only thing there are lists of future conscripts with their addresses and passport details.

·       Patriarch Kirill has now attended two meetings of the defense ministry collegium but the defense minister hasn’t once attended the sessions of the Holy Synod. This must be corrected.

·       When Belarusian dictator Lukashenka joked about being as toxic as Putin, many assumed he was trying out a possible confession.

·       Wise people say the real task of Russian propaganda now is not to convince but to knock the brains out of people.

 

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