Sunday, May 14, 2023

Russian Defense Ministry Spokesmen Do More than Anyone Else to Prevent Russian Defeats, Russians Say

Paul Goble

            Staunton, May 12 – One of the classic anecdotes of Soviet times concerned the supposed visit of Hitler to a Victory Day parade. As the tanks and troops went by, the story had it, the late German dictator began to smile ever more widely.  A Russian suggested that Hitler realized that he could have won the war if only he had had weapons and troops like these.

            No, Hitler responded, according to the anecdote. “I was just thinking that if I had had a newspaper like your Pravda, no one would ever have learned that I had lost the war.” Now, Russians have updated that story, with some insisting that the Russian defense ministry press office by its denial of defeats does more than anyone else to protect Russia against losses.

            As a matter of principle, Russians say, it is impossible to defeat us with such a press service, a resource vastly more powerful than any nuclear arsensal.

            That is just one of the new stories circulating in Moscow that have been assembled and posted online by Russian journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova ( Among the best of the rest are the following:

·       The Russian government plans to add new categories to the law on foreign agents so that the measure will apply not just to those who are foreign agents but to those who help them consciously or not. Russians say that this will have to be extended infinitely to cover those who help the helpers help …

·       Pensioners support Putin because the Kremlin kept the country out of war. He did start a special military operation but that is something entirely different.

·       Moscow has now awarded the Bryansk Oblast with the title of foreign agent after Russian helicopters and plans crashed there this week.

·       Brains can be prepared only if they are well washed and properly cooked, a Russian cookbook advises. That is a message that belongs in political textbooks as well.


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