Sunday, May 28, 2023

What if Mongols Start Using Golden Horde Maps and Say There is No Russia, Russians Want to Know

Paul Goble

            Staunton, May 23 – Now that Putin has been shown a 17th century map on which there was no indication of the existence of Ukraine, some Russians are asking what will happen if some Mongol ruler gets out the maps of the times of the Golden Horde, determines that there is no Russia, and demand 700 years of tribute and the right to re-occupy northern Eurasia.

            That is just one of the anecdotes Russians are telling each other as they respond in their own ways to what the Putin regime is doing. It is part of a  new collection by Moscow journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova ( Among the best of the rest are the following:

·       The Duma wants to add bananas to the list of socially significant Russian products, yet another step towards the country becoming a banana republic and a reminder that abroad Russia is sometimes called “a Nigeria in he snow.”

·       The Moscow competition for the scariest clown is heating up with Dmitry Medvedev now demanding that the US compensate Russia for the destruction of Bakhmut.

·       When the Ukrainian forces entered Belgorod, they didn’t use the main roads and avoided minefields. Such barbarian behavior is yet another reason why Ukraine must be occupied.

·       Russia may have occupied the territory where Bakhmut used to stand, but it couldn’t conquer Bakhmut as that city has ceased to exist.  “You can’t take what isn’t here.”

·       Russian soldiers in the Belgorod region have been given medals “for strategic retreat.”

·       Having been shown a map of the world, Putin says “let’s attack the blues; look how many there are” before his generals point out that he is focusing on the oceans.

·       When Putin bans the use of words like infogypsies, Russians immediately begin using it ever more frequently.

·       In Nizhny Novgorod oblast, agronomists have plowed a field in the shape of the letters “I am a Russian.” There was a time when they would have instead planted something.

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