Ten Russian Anecdotes about the Duma Election

Paul Goble

            Staunton, Sept. 19 – The stories people tell one another about any event are often more indicative of what they think than the responses they give to pollsters or even the votes the cast in elections. Below are ten anecdotes Russians are already telling each other about the just completed Duma elections (publizist.ru/blogs/107374/40833/-).

 

·         United Russia’s victory was so crushing that Putin remained in his bunker and Shoygu and Lavrov did not come out and dance a jig. The Russian people have bitten their tongues because of their happiness and only the stupid weather is crying bitterly.

 

·         During the voting, a new millionaire was found in Russia. Aged four, he just bought an apartment for 500 million rubles (seven million US dollars). It turns out that “by accident,” he is the grandson of a former justice on the Constitutional Court who now serves on the Central Election Commission. What a country! What miracles it produces!

 

·         The government has opposed to smart voting stupid falsifications.

 

·         When Putin dies and goes to hell, he will eternally face elections in which there will be only one candidate on the ballot – Aleksey Navalny.

 

·         The KPRF is the left leg of the party of power; Just Russia is the right leg; and between them dangles Zhirinovsky and the LDPR.

 

·         The state has no ideology because the rats who form it know only how to act on instinct and continue to steal as much as they can as long as they can.

 

·         Russians who received before these elections 10 to 15,000 rubles (140 to 210 US dollars) are demanding that elections be held henceforth every month.

 

·         Russians shouldn’t complain about these elections. In just a year or two, the ones held in 2021 will look like the height of freedom, democracy and humanism.

 

·         The Putin regime has broken another record for growth: Buckwheat prices are now 102.5 rubles (1.50 US dollars) a kilo, the highest level in ten years. No other proof of what Putin has done for and to us is needed.

 

·         Central Elections chief Pamfilova reports to Putin about the elections. There is good news and bad, she says. Which do you want to hear first. Putin says give me the good news first. Pamfilova replies that United Russia won an enormous victory. What’s the bad? Putin wants to know. Pamfilova replies: No one voted for it.