To Sell Russian Gas Abroad at a Significant Discount, Kremlin has to Sell It Domestically at a Significant Markup, Russians Lament

Paul Goble

            Staunton, Aug. 28 – Media reports that Moscow is selling gas to China and India at a significant discount while selling it to Russian drivers at a significant markup have prompted Russians to observe that the Kremlin had no choice: it had to make money somewhere and what better place than from the Russian people.

            This is just one of the anecdotes Moscow journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova offers in her latest collection (publizist.ru/blogs/107374/46655/-). Among the best of the rest are the following:

·       Fools say stupid things but smart people write them.

·       When a Russian arrives in heaven after death, he finds that it looks not at all like what he expected. Why does it look like a barracks? He asks an angel. The angel replies that those who behaved badly during their lifetimes will end up in the Russian part of paradise afterwards – and that Russian part looks like the GULAG.

·       Russians should consider living in such a way that they won’t bore the monitors following their activities.

·       19^th century Russians predicted their country’s wealth would grow in Siberia; 21^st century Russians are showing that it will grow instead in Cyprus.

·       Russia could have won in Ukraine a long time ago to judge from government claims about armaments. Apparently, it just didn’t want to.

·       The Kremlin wanted to bury Prigozhin on the moon to avoid having his grave become a pilgrimage site. Unfortunately, it hasn’t been able to arrange things as it planned.

·       Russian officials are asked why they are active in Africa. To keep the Papuans away from diamonds. But there are no Papuans in Africa, they are told. And the officials add: you can see that our policy is a success.

·       I signed with a cross but managed to make a couple of spelling mistakes.

·       After Prigozhin’s plane was shot down, Ramzan Kadyrov has decided to travel only by donkey.

·       Bashkortostan has sent horses to Ukraine to help the Russian army fight. The horses say they are now waiting for camels to come from Central Asia to relieve them.

·       Classics of Russian literature have been excluded from government exams this year because too many of them contained criticisms of the tsars.

·       Questions about the war in Ukraine have been included in the school exams this year, but there is a problem: those who give incorrect answers will be charged with discrediting the army while those who give correct ones will be charged with revealing state secrets.