Putin Saying Russia is No Longer a Gas Station Masquerading as a Country means It is Running Out of Gas, Russians Say

Paul Goble

            Staunton, Dec. 9 – Vladimir Putin claims that calling Russia a gas station masquerading as a country is no longer applicable; but all that means, many Russians suggest, is that their country is rapidly running out of gas and no longer has any to sell to others or even to its own residents.

            That is just one of the anecdotes in the latest collection assembled by Moscow journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova (publizist.ru/blogs/107374/47297/-). Among the best of the rest are the following:

·       Russians are complaining that they have been forced to water the same TV series, “Putin’s Word,” for 23 years.

·       The Duma is set to adopt a law declaring that Moscow will be able to assign to each newborn “a debt to the homeland,” with certain exceptions of course. And Russians say they have no doubt who has been exempted.

·       Time magazine has declared Putin to be the winner in the Obituary of the Year category.

·       One Chukchi tells another that a plane going overhead doesn’t have government people in it unless it is accompanied by motorcycles flying alongside.

·       The Putin regime will declare whatever percentages it needs. All it cares about it turnout and so even those who go to the polls to vote for the government’s candidate will be helping the party of power.

·       The egg shortages Russia is now experiencing can easily be addressed by banning abortions for hens.

·       The two most important constants in Russian life are temporary difficulties and the insistence that no one should change horses when crossing a river.