Paul
Goble
Staunton, August 7 – “Several
thousand” Russian women marry Tajik men every year, according to Tilav
Rasul-Zade. Most of these marriages are contracted when Tajik men have come to
Russia, and most of the couples remain there. But some Russian women go to
Tajikistan where they “accept Islam, prepare plov, and do good deeds” (fergana.agency/articles/109419/).
In Soviet times, the communist
authorities celebrated inter-ethnic marriages but viewed the in most cases as a
phenomenon that led to the assimilation of non-Russians by Russians; but now, there
are fewer such marriages. And many
Russians view them with hostility because often it is the Russian who is
assimilated to a non-Russian culture rather than the other way around.
Except perhaps for marriages between
Russian women and Chinese men – see windowoneurasia2.blogspot.com/2018/08/chinas-new-weapon-against-russia.html
-- no such unions are more sensitive among Russians than those between Russian women
and Central Asian men given the cultural divide and demographic consequences of
such marriages.
They are seldom talked about in the
Russian media, perhaps because Russian outlets do not want to encourage them,
and they are not much more often discussed in the Central Asian media either,
possibly for similar reasons. As a result,
such unions remain shrouded in stereotypes, many of them negative.
That makes the portrait of two
Russian women who married Tajik men, moved to Tajikistan, and assimilated to
Tajik religion, culture, and way of life offered by Fergana journalist
Rasul-Zade especially valuable because it shows these unions are often genuine
love matches and that the Russian women accept Tajik culture as something
valuable for themselves.
Marina was a student in Krasnoyarsk
when she met and fell in love with Nekrus, a Tajik immigrant worker. In 2015,
he was deported and banned from returning to Russia for five years. Marina followed
him to his village in Tajikistan, converted to Islam, married, and has done
everything she can to fit into Tajik life so as not to cause problems for her
husband.
“When we lived in the kishlak,” she
says, she “went about only in Tajik dress. Then, when we moved to Khudzhand, I
began to wear European clothes since in the city there is a more liberal
atmosphere.” But she has learned Tajik and prepares the Tajik foods her new
relatives taught her how to make.
The Russian woman has gotten jobs in
advertising, and not long ago, Marina reports, a television producer approached
her about making her “”the heroine of a television series about how an urban
Russian girl from Russia sought in a rural area of Tajikistan to become a real
Tajik wife.”
“Many people in Russia think that
Tajikistan is a backward country and that here everything is out of date. Yes,
here as in many countries of the world there are many unresolved social problems,
especially in the realm of infrastructure. But there are big changes. I see
that the country is developing.”
“The most important thing is that
the people are unusually kind and hospitable. When Kamilla [her child] was quite
little, everyone – acquaintances and others – helped me: they took out the
trash and carried the baby carriage up and down the stairs,” Marina says. She
likes life in Tajikistan and the couple doesn’t plan to return to Russia when
the ban on her husband runs out.
Elina, the other ethnic Russian
woman Rasul-Zade interviewed, met her future husband while she was working as a
hairdresser in Moscow. They fell in love and returned to his village Tarror
where she was accepted as a member of her husband’s large family – he is the 11th
of 12 children, she says.
She recounts that many of her
Russian family and friends were anything but pleased but the union, but her
Tajik relatives were fully welcoming. The two have a daughter and Elina works
in cosmetology. At one point, they returned to Moscow in search of better jobs,
but then her husband’s mother became ill and they returned to Tajikistan.
Her mother-in-law recovered, but the
two decided not to go back to Russia even though Mukhammadzhon has dual
citizenship and can live there if he wants to.
Elina now operates a massage parlor and makes enough money to be
generous. She regularly visits a home for the elderly to help out.
In the home, she says, there are 98
people. “The absolute majority of them are Russians, Germans, Ukrainians, Tatars
and other representatives of non-titular nations. These are lonely people, they
don’t have any relatives here, and they need attention and interaction. When I
see the joy and smiles on their, I am happy in my soul.”
As a Muslim and a human being, she says,
wearing the Tajik clothes she has adopted, “we must do savob [the Tajik
word for the Muslm requirement for good actions] and help those who need help. She
hopes for a large family so that when she and her husband grow old, their
children will be able to take them.
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