Wednesday, August 3, 2022

Police Can Now Enter Russians’ Homes at Will under Kremlin’s Accessible Housing Program, New Anecdote Says

Paul Goble

            Staunton, July 10 – Russians now know the real meaning of the government’s Accessible Housing Program, a new anecdote holds. It means that the police now have the right to gain access to any residence for any reason!

            That is just one of the new jokes and anecdotes Russians are telling each other in an effort to explain life around them that have been collected by Moscow journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova ( Among the best of the rest are the following:

·       According to the latest statistical analysis, every seventh member of the Duma is just as much a rogue as the first six.

·       The Kremlin is celebrating another victory in its substitution campaign. Now, instead of riding in cars, Russians will rise  from behind the wheel and walk.

·       The only reason Moscow can’t fix a dam that broke in Verkhoyansk is that the bloody West has attacked Russia in Ukraine.

·       Meduza released the results of a classified VTsIOM poll showing that a third of Russians believe the war in Ukraine should be stopped right now. The Kremlin responded by deciding to stop the independent news outlet instead.

·       The special military operation in Ukraine has been the occasion for so many arrests for spreading false information about the military that the question arises: do these cases serve the interest of this special operation, or does this special operation serve the interests of the terrible punishments Russians receiving

·       The governor of a region near the Ukrainian border has complained that Russians there claim that Ukrainian shelling has broken the windows in their homes in a last ditch effort to get them repaired.

·       A Russian who wanted to get rid of his wife has found a quick and easy method: he has denounced her for criticizing Putin’s war in Ukraine.

·       Russian officials say that unbleached office paper produced by Russian firms is good for human eyes unlike the bleached kind that used to be imported. Soon, pharmacies will sell pieces of it in place of medicine, and Russians will return to writing on birch bark and parchment.

·       Dmitry Rogozin has been relieved as head of RosKosmos because he is so useless. The only question about this Putin favorite is whether he will be promoted or not. 


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