Tuesday, October 25, 2022

Putin Could Abolish Tourism Agency Because from Now On, the Military Commissariats will Move People About, Russians Say Bitterly

 Paul Goble

            Staunton, Oct. 23 – Putin has abolished the Russian tourism agency because Moscow no longer needs it, according to the latest Russian anecdote. Instead, the powers that be have decided that the military commissariats which handle the draft and mobilization will do all the moving of people about that Russia requires.

            This is one of the jokes that Moscow journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova offers in her latest collection (publizist.ru/blogs/107374/44248/-). Among the best of the rest are the following:

·       Russian folk wisdom holds that a tree branch “shoots” once a year. As a result, the Russian defense ministry has decided to hand out twigs to those mobilized.

·       In the latest act of import substitution, the health ministry has decided to allocate tons of tree bark to cure Russians of their ills.

·       Putin visited the military training center in Ryazan because it was the right distance – 500 km – from the front and took with him only two suitcases because after all times are hard.

·       When someone proposed that Duma deputies be sent to the front, one of their number asked in horror “do you want all of them to be shot and killed?” He was shocked when the crowd responded with an almost unanimous yell of “yes.”

·       The war in Ukraine has led to a shortage of security forces. As a result, from now on, Rusisans will be obliged to search and detain themselves.

·       Given the emigration of so many IT specialists, Moscow has invited IT specialists from Somalia to help fight piracy.

·       After a Russian jet crashed into a residential building in Irkutsk, the defense ministry ordered the development of a new model that would not do that.

·       It looks like Putin really does have a plan for his war in Ukraine. He has taken it from Kutuzov. That requires the enemy to advance and then burn Moscow first before Russians can hope to mobilize and go over to the attack.

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