Russians Don’t Need Toilet Paper: They have the Constitution for Sanitary Needs, Russians Say

 Paul Goble

            Staunton, Sept. 17 – Russians don’t need toilet paper: in Soviet times, they had Pravda for their sanitary needs. Now, they have the equally valuable Russian Constitution for the same purposes, Russians are saying.

            That is just one of the anecdotes Moscow journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova has assembled and posted online this week (publizist.ru/blogs/107374/46773/-). Among the best of the rest are the following:

·       Those saying there won’t be a mobilization this fall give exactly the same reasons for their conclusions that they gave a year ago just before the first mobilization.

·       VTsIOM has found that 146 percent of Russians favor the return of the 25-year-term for military service that was the norm in tsarist times.

·       Russians can’t use cars to enter Poland. They can go only on foot or in tanks. But any tanks they try to use will run out of fuel before they get there.

·       It is a good idea to send pupils to North Korea because then the children will see exactly what the words “everything is going according to plan” will mean once that plan is fulfilled.