Monday, March 18, 2024

Russia is an Amazing Country, Always Ready for a Nuclear War but Never for Winter or Natural Disasters, Some Russians Say

Paul Goble

            Staunton, Mar. 15 – Following Vladimir Putin’s statement that Russia is prepared for a nuclear war, some Russians are saying that their country is truly amazing:  it is apparently always ready for a nuclear war but has never been ready for winter, natural disasters or even potholes in in its streets and roads.

            That is just one of the anecdotes Russians are telling each other that have been collected by Moscow journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova ( Among the best of the rest are the following:

·       Russians truly have some unexpected freedoms. The constitution specifies that they have the freedom to remain silent and not shout “glory to the beloved leader” as North Koreans must.

·       Kremlin officials want the Russian constitution to be put in electronic form so that they can change it quickly as needed.

·       Sanctions have truly helped us – including to restore ration coupons.

·       Shaman Gabyshev is going to be re-examined by Russian psychiatrists, sad news for him and for the country as there are no other saviors on the horizon.

·       Russians are being told that they shouldn’t fear that Russian planes and helicopters will fall out of the sky because very soon all of them already will have done so.

·       Russians who say you should drink more and those who say you should drink less agree on one thing: you do need to drink!

·       One Russian says he’ll vote for someone who has violated the constitution by running for a fifth term, started a war, and failed to fulfill a single promise, as long as he agrees to lie down in his own grave.

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