Tuesday, March 19, 2024

Russians Voted for Putin Because Only the One who Made This Mess Could Find a Way Back Out of It

Paul Goble

            Staunton, Mar. 16 – Some Russians decided to vote for Putin out of the belief that only the person who had landed their country in such a mess would have any chance of finding a way out of it by retracing his own steps, according to the latest anecdote circulating in the Russia capital.

            This is just one of the stories Russians are telling each other that have been collected and posted online by Moscow journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova (publizist.ru/blogs/107374/48039/-). The best of the rest include the following:

·       Russians have passed through following in their war with Ukraine: first, they assumed that it would be good for Russia; then, they felt it would be bad for Ukrainians; then, they concluded that the Ukrainians are no better than we; and finally, they discovered that the war is bad for both nations.

·       Moscow has announced that people from more than 106 countries observed the Russian election. It didn’t say how many were from other planets.

·       A snowmobile traversed 150 km so that a family of Nenets reindeer herders could vote for Putin, TASS reported’ but it didn’t say whether the Nentsy knew about this.

·       Ukrainians are angry now because Russian forces killed all those who were good and only the “evil” ones remain.

·       Two years ago, Putin said Russia would take Kyiv in two or three days; now, he is compelled to say that “the enemy has had no success in any direction.”

·       Everything is Russia is truly normal: drones are flying, oil refineries are burning, Belgorod is being bombed and propagandists are talking nonsense so that the unfortunates who have lost their minds will vote so all this will never end.

·       Russians have stopped reading Orwell and beginning to read Kafka.

·       In the German fairy tale, the pied piper plays a flue to lead all the rats out of the city and then drowns them. In its Russian counterpart, the rat gets the magic pipe.

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