Predict Everything will Get Worse and You’re an Expert; Predict Everything will Get Better, You’re a Russian TV Commentator, Russians Say

Paul Goble

            Staunton, Jan. 15 – A Russian who says everything will get worse will acquire the reputation of being an expert, but one who says that everything will get better in his country has a better future, Russians say. He or she will be able to hire on as a commentator on Moscow state television.

            This is one of the anecdotes Moscow journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova has assembled this week which provide insights into what Russians are thinking (publizist.ru/blogs/107374/44929/-). Among the best of the rest are the following:

·       The defense ministry has officially approved the schedule of fires for Russia’s only aircraft carrier, the “Admiral Kuznetsov.” Now no one has to remain in suspense as to when the next one will be.

·       Confiscating the property of those who’ve fled Russia opens a dangerous Pandora’s box that could lead to the confiscation of property by those who haven’t and ultimately to the confiscation of the confiscators in a revolution.

·       Russians ask God when they have sinned the most; and God answers, “when you vote the way you do.”

·       By saying that the Wagner PMC has won the battle of Soledar, the defense ministry has officially confessed that the war in Ukraine is illegal because in Russia, private military companies are against the law.

·       Those who support the war get to stay at home; those who oppose it get to fight it.

·       If you were chosen as king, and the crown turned out to be large, first it will fall on your eyes - and you will not see anything. Then it will fall on your ears - and you will not hear anything. Then it will slip into your mouth - and you won’t be able to say anything properly... In the end, it will fall on your neck and become a collar, for which your own slaves will lead you to execution... Finally, you will see everything, hear everything, and you will be able to say everything - but no one will listen to you.

·       According to the VTsIOM polling agency, every third Russian hates ever second one.

·       Russian investigators have uncovered crime at a charitable foundation in Rostov. It seems that having received a grant to put up patriotic posters, the criminals diverted some of the money to buy food and medicine for those in need.

·       Russian statistics are wonderful. They show the average salary of Russians in the country by combining the salaries in Moscow with those elsewhere. As a result, the ants outside the capital are combined with the elephants in the city and the average weight of an ant can reach 500 kilograms.