Putin’s Fighting a War for Peace Equivalent to Having Sex to Promote Virginity, Russians Say

Paul Goble

            Staunton, Jan. 24 – Putin’s propagandists insist that everything the Kremlin is doing including using force in Ukraine is intended to end the war, an argument Russians find implausible because fighting a war for peace is almost the precise equivalent of having sex to promote virginity.

            That is one of the anecdotes Russians are now telling each other that have been assembled by Moscow journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova (publizist.ru/blogs/107374/44988/-). Among the best of the rest are the following:

·       The Russian defense ministry keeps explaining troop movements in Ukraine as being an effort to move toward “more advantageous lines.” Why isn’t anyone asking what idiot in the command forced them earlier to occupy less advantageous ones?

·       Crimea has been ours for eight years, Russians say and then ask how long will it be until the rest of Russia which currently belongs to thieves and oligarchs becomes ours as well?

·       Moscow’s animal rights activists are ecstatic. The air defense system practiced shooting down birds and didn’t hit any of them.

·       When calculating spending for each head in the population, the Russian government has forgotten to take into account the rest of the body.

·       For most people, there is a career ladder. For children of the elite, it is a high-speed elevator.

·       Traditional family values have become so popular in Russia that some members of the elite have decided to start two families so they can promote such values even more widely.