‘Whatever Doesn’t Kill Us Makes Us Poorer,’ Russians Say

Paul Goble

            Staunton, Apr. 4 – Reflecting on the situation they now find themselves, Russians have updated the old slogan that whatever doesn’t kill them makes them stronger. That’s not the case, they point out. Instead, “whatever doesn’t kill us makes us poorer,” many Russians are now telling each other.

            That is just one of the new jokes and anecdotes Muscovites are now telling each other, according to the latest collection offered by Russian journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova (publizist.ru/blogs/107374/45547/-). Among the best of the rest:

·       Now that Moscow is permitting Russians to purchase wines by mail, Russian Post has come up with a new slogan: ‘Buy young wines, and by the time we deliver them, they’ll be collectible vintages.”

·       What has happened to Trump will never happen to Putin. The Russian leader wouldn’t have stayed in power without changing the constitution and laws so that he could never be brought to justice.

·       Fires are breaking out at the defense ministry because officers there are now trying to drink tea rather than their usual cognac and they haven’t yet mastered the intricacies of tea pots.

·       The older a Russian politician becomes, the more he wants to take everyone to the grave with him.

·       Russia’s turn to the east has clearly failed. The only way left is to turn south, to Africa.

·       Those now demanding the mass execution of the enemies of the people need to remember what happened to those who took part in the troikas in the 1930s. They sent a lot of Russians to their deaths before they too were either sent to the camps or executed.