Putin Responding to ICC Arrest Warrant by Lengthening His Desk and Deepening His Bunker, Russians Say

Paul Goble

            Staunton, April 3 – Some Russians say that Vladimir Putin has now given “a decent response to the warrant for his arrest from the International Criminal court: he has called for his desk to be lengthened by several times over and the deputy of his bunker to be increased in a major way.

            This is just one of the jokes and anecdotes now circulating in Moscow that have been published by Russian journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova (publizist.ru/blogs/107374/45518/-). Among the best of the rest:

·       Lukashenka needs three eyes: one to look toward Moscow, a second to look toward Beijing, and a third to look at those under him to ensure they don’t say anything.

·       The new Foreign Policy concept specifies that Russia doesn’t consider itself an enemy of the West but views the West as an irreconcilable enemy of Russia.

·       Putin hasn’t been able to raise salaries as he promised but he has been able to increase jail terms even for those guilty of nothing.

·       It isn’t true that the screws are being tightened in Russia. After all, Russian cars are now made in China.

·       Fraudsters were able to extract 3.8 million rubles (50,000 US dollars) when they called the deputy head of an administrative department at the finance ministry. Just think what they might have gotten if they’d reached someone higher up in the Kremlin.

·       Those who report to Putin every day about conditions in their fiefdoms tell him everything is wonderful. It is too bad that among their number are none who are telling the Kremlin leader about conditions in Russia itself.

·       Because Russia is so large, its people can be 100 percent sure of one thing: there will always be enough room for cemeteries.

·       Everyone expects the Kremlin to set the numbers the winner in future elections will get and the share of the electorate who will participate. What is odd is that the powers that be don’t seem committed to raising these figures so that they will soon pass 100 percent. After all, Russians say, “we need to be ahead of the rest of the world in some way.”