Sunday, February 18, 2024

Americans Want Putin as Their President, Duma Speaker Says; Russians Want to Know What Psychiatrists have to Say about That

Paul Goble

            Staunton, Feb. 15 – Vyacheslav Volodin, chairman of the Russian Duma, says that Americans would like to see Vladimir Putin as their president. Russians want to know how US psychiatrists evaluate those in their country who do so given what the Kremlin leader has done for Russia.

            That is just one of the anecdotes Moscow journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova has assembled in her latest collection ( Among the best of the rest are the following:

·       Russians are now saying they must love one another before they get jailed for doing so.

·       Siloviki are no longer planting drugs on Russian men they want to arrest. Now, they are planting lipstick and mascara instead.

·       Moscow has decided to take revenge on Ecuador for not supplying Russia with bananas. If that works, the Kremlin will order the raising of elephants in Russia as well.

·       Two of Vladislav Surkov’s most famous terms have simple explanations. He came up with the idea of “the deep people” when he once went into a Moscow subway by mistake; and he introduced the concept of “the long state of Vladimir Putin” when he heard a young man ask his grandfather whom the latter had voted for before Putin appeared on the scene.

·       Moscow has to win an internal victory to compensate for its lack of one abroad.

·       No one can argue effectively against anyone who supports the idea of confiscation. With that notion now law, there is no longer any place for brains.

·       Putin has announced that Russia has found a cure for cancer. It will now address the other signs of the zodiac.

·       Patriarch Kirill is going to reconsecrate the Black Sea Fleet given its recent losses. It seems the head of the Russian Orthodox church filled the censer with the wrong liquid the last time.

·       Now that Putin’s spokesman is referring to the special military operation as a war, Russians want to know if those who are behind bars for saying that earlier will now be released.

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