‘Sudden Death Syndrome’ New Euphemism for ‘Sudden Bullet Wound Syndrome,’ Russians Say

Paul Goble

            Staunton, Feb. 19 – Moscow says that Aleksey Navalny died from “sudden death syndrome,” exactly the same euphemistic diagnosis it gave the public for the earlier deaths of Boris Nemtsov and Anna Politkovskaya and one that the powers that be can be counted on to use again and again, some Russians say.

            That is only one of the new anecdotes assembled by Moscow journalist Tatyana Pushkaryova in her latest online collection (publizist.ru/blogs/107374/47816/-). Among the best of the rest are the following:

·       New polls show that a majority of Russians think that the majority of Russians are idiots.

·       Russia is obviously ready for a great leap but whether forward or backward hasn’t been decided.

·       No one should be surprised that officials couldn’t hand over Navalny’s body. After all, bodies go missing in Russia all the time.

·       Russians are getting stronger: it used to take a car to carry home 2000 rubles worth of groceries. Now, an individual Russian can carry the same amount in one hand.

·       Those who compare Brezhnev’s era with Putin’s are right about many things but they forget that there is a big difference between the stagnation of the first and the constipation of the second.

·       If Western intelligence services were behind Navalny’s death, why haven’t there been any resignations from the FSIN and FSB of those who failed to block enemy agents from killing the opposition figure and wounding the Kremlin.

·       Now that Moscow won’t let there be a funeral service for Navalny, what’s next? Will the powers that be ban any mention of his name? the use of the letter N? or some other way?

·       Somehow people before the Internet were able to survive. Some even wrote the Moonlight Sonata, Yevgeny Onegin and War and Peace.

·       Just because you ignore the decay going on around you doesn’t mean that it is ignoring you.