12 New Political Anecdotes Say What Needs to Be Said about Putin’s Russia, Maysuryan Says

Paul Goble

            Staunton, December 5 – The jokes people tell about themselves and their society say more about their countries than do many of the most learned discussions by scholars, Aleksandr Maysuryan says; and for no country on earth is that more true than for Russia where political anecdotes are more revealing than almost anything else.

            To make his point, he offers 12 recent ones (politobzor.net/207376-umom-rossiyu-ne-ponyat-a-politicheskim-anekdotom-zaprosto.html):

1.      Democracy is when three foxes and one rabbit decide what they will have for dinner.

2.      Asked how he has won four straight elections with the votes of sheep, the fox answers: The first time was easy; the second, I simply convinced them that other wolves were worse than I; and the third and fourth, I reached an agreement with my fellow wolves: they will frighten their sheep and I will mine with them.

3.      Why did you take millions of dollars our of Russia, an oligarch is asked. “In order to free the country from such trash.” “You are a real patriot!” Russians respond.

4.      Why do Russian officials and deputies buy apartments and houses in the US? So that the enemy won’t be able to.

5.      “Papa, why don’t our bureaucrats change to their own country’s automobiles?” “Judging from everything,” his father replies, “they haven’t decided which it is.”

6.      “I propose reducing each month to only a week.” “Why?” “Because pensions don’t last long enough for current months.”

7.      Everything happens raapidly in Russia. For example, if in the morning, you go by a building under construction, by evening, you’ll see there a meeting of deceived debtors.  If in the morning, something necessary and useful appears in Russia, by nightfall, this will either be taxed or banned.  If in the morning, a bank is given government support, then by evening, the mistress of the head of the bank will have a new yacht.  If in the morning, a newspaper writes about something, by dinnertime, there will be a new editor.

8.      Useful minerals in Russia are those minerals which are very useful to an extremely narrow circle of citizens.

9.      A good half of the population doesn’t support the government. No one risks asking the bad half about the regime.

10.  “You’re always praising the USSR. Have you forgotten punitive psychiatry?” “No, but now all the federal television channels are punitive psychiatry.”

11.  In the 2024 presidential elections, Sobyanin, the current mayor of Moscow, wins. A week later, he issues an order: “The state border is to be marked with slate, and the border crossings with paving slabs.

12.  Nabibullina, head of the State Bank, is asked why the ruble has strengthened. She responds: “Forgive me, I was on vacation.”