Could ’50 Shades of Red-Brown’ Become ‘a Russian Patriotic Blockbuster’?

Paul Goble

 

            Staunton, February 22 – While sitting in a McDonalds, Moscow blogger Michael Pojarsky says he came up with a scenario for “a Russian patriotic blockbuster” film to be called “’50 Shades of Red-Brown,’” thus tipping his hat both to the current American movie and to the rise of the communist (red)-fascist (brown) forces in Russia itself.

 

            He has now posted his ideas on Facebook, and they suggest how some Russians view the direction in which their country is heading under Vladimir Putin and how willing they are to make fun of it (facebook.com/michael.pojarsky/posts/854761544581467). Pojarsky outlines his scenario as follows:

 

            “A young and sympathetic Petersburg Nazi, Aleksey Milchakov,” he writes, “goes as a volunteer to Novorossiya in order to save Russian people from Negro attackers. There he encounters an older and wiser commander Aleksandr Bednov who goes under the nom de guerre of Batman. Despite the difference in age and origins, a forbidden passion ignites between them, which continues with hot bondage and submission games in Batman’s well-known torture chamber to which they go during artillery barrages from the enemy.”

 

            “But the enemy, in the form of some with the Luhansk Peoples Republic who have sold out, decide to use [their forbidden love] to remove the last honest commander who is preventing them from selling out to the junta. Having been condemned in absentia for violating the [Russian] law banning homosexuality, they sent a firing squad to execute Batman.”

 

            Milchak by a miracle is able to save himself and now he is returning to Novorossia in order to take revenge against those who have killed his beloved.”  The story, Pojarsky says, will continue in Part II.

 

            He also notes that this story is “based on real events,” its main characters are “real,” and what they were doing in the basement one can only guess. He suggests that Sasha Gray could play as a guest star in the role of Russian nurse Aleksandr Serova, with Sergey Pakhomov playing the corporal with the pet name “Little Brother” and Yegor Prosvirnin as a brutal fighter.